BOLSON: link why the HELL are you texting me at 1 am.

LINK: i need orange juice

BOLSON: go to sleep

LINK: no no listen its cuz i took my adhd meds right and then i took a nap and then i woke up but i thought it was morning so i took more meds but then i realized it wasnt morning so i need to go drink orange juice

BOLSON: what does that have to do with anything

LINK: juice maje medicine work less good
LINK: *makes

BOLSON: is that actually true

LINK: idk
LINK: but im gonna believe it is

BOLSON: ok and this involves me how

LINK: i need you to drive me to walgreens

BOLSON: don't you have a car???

LINK: yeah but i crashed it into a tree yesterday

BOLSON: why cant zelda drive you.

LINK: shes alseep

BOLSON: so was i!!!

LINK: well... youre not asleep anymore so...
LINK: can you drive me?

BOLSON: i swear to fucking hylia link

Bolson arrived at Link and Zelda's house seven minutes later wearing Christmas pajama pants, a fluffy pink bathrobe, and Invader Zim slippers. When Link opened the door, he was greeted with the stink eye of a lifetime.

'...Sorry...' Link signed with a wince.

Bolson responded with a "hmmph", stuck his chin the air, and spun around on his heel, hitting Link's shin with the trail of his bathrobe. Link followed him through the grass to Bolson's car and climbed into the passengers seat.

"I can't BELIEVE I'm doing this for you, Link. ALL the other friends you have and yet it has to be ME who drives across town to take you to Walgreens in the middle of the damn night... for Hylia's sake..." He glanced away from the road for a moment to give Link a steely look. "You better have your wallet, cuz I didn't bring mine. Plus I'm not paying for you anyway."

Link nodded and patted his pocket.

Bolson made the "hmmph" sound again and looked back at the road. In the dead of night, it was near-empty, with only a few cars on the road. The silence outside the car was a thick blanket pressing in on the vehicle's walls. Bolson's headlights pierced through the dark like a sword, and Link suddenly felt on edge, as if something would jump out of the trees any moment.

"...Turn on some music, this is depressing."

Link reached for his phone and scrolled through his playlist.

"MY music. You have shitty taste."

Well that was rude. Link turned on "Pink Pony Club." Bolson seemed satisfied by this choice.

The Walgreens was near-deserted when Bolson and Link pulled into the parking lot. Bolson parked farthest from the entrance and climbed out of the driver's seat. "C'mon, then."

It was cold outside, the October air biting at Link's nose. He suddenly wished he'd worn more than his threadbare old Zonai Dragons band tee and green patchwork pajama pants. He ran ahead of Bolson to reach the warmth of the Walgreens. Meanwhile, Bolson, apparently unbothered by the cold despite the fact he wasn't even wearing a shirt beneath his bathrobe, took his sweet time sashaying to the building. Eventually Link got sick of waiting for him by the door and walked to the fridges on his own.

So many options! Who knew there were so many different kinds of orange juice in the world. Link picked up a carton of no-pulp Florida's Natural. Bolson appeared behind him.

"Y'know, in my correct opinion, Simply Orange is better," Bolson said.

'I didn't realize you were an orange juice connoisseur,' Link retorted.

"Please, my naive little friend. I am an everything connoisseur."

'You certainly have enough opinions on everything.'

"You can stop talking now."

'I never even opened my mouth.'

"I will kill you. I'll hit you over the head with my hammer, and you will be dead."

'Okay.'

Bolson plucked the orange juice carton from Link's hands and began walking away. With an offended gasp, Link chased after him.

Bolson stopped at the candy aisle and looked analytically at a bag of Dum Dums, tapping his chin with his index finger. Link took the orange juice out of his hands. Bolson was too enraptured by the prospect of candy to care. Link tapped his shoulder and Bolson looked down at him.

'Do you want some?'

"No no no, I don't want to waste your money."

'It's alright. Consider it a thank-you for driving me here.'

"Well, if you insist..." Bolson skipped over to a large bag of watermelon Sour Patch Kids and plucked it off the shelf. He dropped it into Link's arms atop the orange juice carton. "Thanks queen!" he chirped, suddenly all smiles. Seemingly, this was all it took for Link's crimes to be completely forgiven.

At the counter, Link completed his transaction with a hairy, utterly exhausted middle-aged man who either didn't realize or didn't want to deal with addressing the fact that Bolson was definitely trying to flirt with him the entire time. Link thanked the employee with a polite nod and dragged Bolson out of the store behind him.

"Ugh, what an ass. He didn't even look at me!" Bolson grumbled, crossing his arms as the two walked back to the car.

'I think he was chill,' Link responded, handing Bolson the Sour Patch Kids, which he immediately tore into like a savage animal. 'He didn't say anything about me not saying anything, which was nice. Some cashiers are weird about it.'

"But I was trying to hiiittt onnn hiiimmm..." Bolson whined remorsefully, opening the driver's door and flopping his upper body against the passenger seat in a dramatic display of deep sorrow. He looked up at Link with a face akin to an abandoned puppy left out in the rain.

'You'll land a boyfriend one day,' Link signed encouragingly, sitting down in the passenger seat and patting Bolson on the head. 'I believe in you.'

"Aw, thanks sweetheart~!" Bolson cooed, suddenly revitalized. He jumped into the driver's seat and patted his pockets wildly for his keys. As he drove away, he flipped off the Walgreens indignantly, getting a small laugh out of Link.

Link opened his orange juice carton and drank the whole thing in three long sips. Bolson spent the next five minutes side-eyeing him like he was a cryptid.

The rest of the drive home was quiet, besides rattle of Bolson's vast collection of dashboard hula ladies and the occasional crinkle of the bag of Sour Patch Kids when Bolson reached into it. At one point, Link reached over to grab one, and Bolson slapped his hand away with an indignant gasp, starting on a long lecture about asking permission before taking other people's things, at the end of which he sassily pulled the bag out of Link's reach, declaring that he would never share his candy with Link again because of this. A few minutes later he silently dropped a large handful of candy into Link's lap.

A few minutes later, as Bolson parked the car outside Link's house, Link signed, 'Thanks again so much for driving me.'

Bolson waved him away. "Oh, it was no problem, sweetie!" His smiled dropped. "But if you ever do that again I will set your house on fire with you in it." He grinned again and threw a piece of candy at Link. "Now go!!! Get out of my car!!! I'll see you soon, darling!!!"